Big Dave’s Strange Trip North

Prime Minister David Cameron visited a factory in West Yorkshire on Thursday 7th March to give what had been billed as a major speech on the economy prior to the Chancellor’s Budget presentation later in the month.

Mr. Cameron stressed not once but several times during his address to a group of very sober, if not sad, businessmen and women “that there was no alternative to more austerity”. It sounded like the return of Mrs. Thatcher – or Dracula returns – to bleed us all dry. He claimed his policies on the economy were working and referred us to so-called evidence from the Office of Public Responsibility to add weight to his hollow claims. On his return to Downing Street, after his brief encounter with those strange Northern Tribesmen, Big Dave found a letter on his desk from no other person than the Head of the Office of Budget Responsibility which stated that government’s austerity programme had knocked 1.4% off the value of the Gross National Product over the past two years. Whoops! Big Dave’s trip falls flat…

We were treated to a storytelling session when Cameron met the natives of West Yorkshire. In that very expressive way of waving his arms around in order to keep his audience in rapture, or to keep them from falling asleep, Big Dave told his audience that “there were no such things as money trees”. He went on to tell these hard-headed West-Yorkshire folk that you had to work hard if you want to succeed! However down in the Sleazy South money trees flourish all year long. On Friday 8th March 2013 Barclays and RBS revealed 253 staff take home more than £1 million per year. Barclays were hit by a fine of £390 million for rigging the market, yet earlier this week Barclays paid 204 of their employees £1 million each.

I thought one of the principles of the law was that no-one should profit from crime. Apparently it doesn’t include banks: their money grows on trees.

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